Hello Robin ,

I am reviewing your work as a judge for "CLASH! "  [13+]. The following are all my opinions for you to heed or discard as you please.

Character:

What I like: I like that you give weaknesses to counter her strengths. This makes the reader believe the peril for the character will be real.

What I'd like to see improved upon: The name is a bit too out there for me, and I hate being told how to pronounce it.


Story:

What I like: I like how you showed us her wily womanly ways of seduction to get an edge. All the dialogue feels authentic.

What I'd like to see improved upon: The man she is seducing is not enough challenge. Despite what women like to say about men, we are generally suspicious of any attractive woman behaving the way your character does toward him.


Good luck in the tournament.

Best regards,

Gary


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .