Hi Davy Kraken

My name is Ken and I'm reviewing your work "As I Wander'd Lone through Nature"  on behalf of "The Earth Day Challenge" . I'm surprised I haven't run across you before but so pleased to have found this (and you ) today.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Yes, I found it "Whitmanesque" but, more importantly, I thought you did a terrific job of capturing small bits of nature and holding them up for all to see their beauty.

Creativity/Impact:
A "coast to coast" mini-tour of the U.S.A. and small discoveries made for a creative and imaginative journey.

Message/Theme:
The theme of discovering the wonder of nature is woven deeply into the imagery and descriptions you've penned. Your thoughtful "reminiscences" were consistent in tone and focus throughout. This was, on all levels, a successful write. I notice that I'm the 100th person to think so so congratulations.

Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism.

Title: "As I Wander'd Lone through Nature" A title, an opening, and a closing line. I thought the title was well chosen and well used to attract potential readers. The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see and serves as an advertisement of the author's imagination. I appreciate that it also served within the poem to reinforce the "journey" aspects of your write - both across the land and as a journey of discovery.

Grammar/Wording: I thought your word choice was simple but meaningful, capturing the spirit of the poetic style you were honoring. Perhaps (and this is only me) the contractions "wash'd" and "captur'd" were a bit too much. I remember (and yes, I even went back through your links which you were kind enough to provide) that Whitman tended to use them only for emphasis and focus and not as a rule. Since you repeated "admir'd" in every stanza, it became a bit distracting for me.

Form/Flow: I thought you did a brilliant job of finding the heart of Whitman's style and reproducing it. Free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. It still needs to feel like poetry, whether it's in the use of verses, poetic norms, or simply the use of poetic lines. That's what I look for when reading. I think you did an excellent job of both making this feel like poetry and flow like poetry.

Poetic devices: Whether consciously or not, you use of enjambment and assonance/consonance within the lines made this a wonderful, easy read.

Emotion/Imagery: While Whitman's style was openly romantic, I felt that you brought a more delicate touch to the images you created which I really appreciated. The "spiral shell" that captured you, and "frail veins traced" was much more intimate and personal which I thought brought the reader from listening to your journey to accompanying you.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
I sincerely enjoyed reading this homage to Whitman and journey through nature. Your talent comes through clearly and I found myself smiling from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2014,

Ken

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