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Review #3981391
Viewing a review of:
 Beach Scene  [E]
A lone soul admiring nature's beauty.
by Mitch
Review of Beach Scene  
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Mitch

My name is Ken and I'm reviewing your work "Beach Scene on behalf of "The Earth Day Challenge.

*Flower1* First Impression/Thoughts:
A wonderfully tongue-twisting example of alliteration *Laugh*. Actually, I came across a poetry form called Alliterisen   which has both a rhyming and complex variation, that this reminds me of. I think you'd find it both challenging and fun.

*Flower2* Creativity/Impact:
The use of alliteration to the extent that you have is a challenge creatively and yet you've managed to do it with style and without compromising the integrity of your poem.

*Flower3* Message/Theme:
The theme is nature woven within a poem of appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. You've done a good job of involving more than just the sights found along a beach at sunset; you've included sound (buoy's bells) and tactile (Bay's breeze billows) references to make bring the reader into the experience. Well done.

*Flower4* Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the poet.

*Vine1* Title: "Beach Scene" - I thought your title was simple and direct, preparing the reader for the flowing verses that they'll find. Since the title is the reader's first glimpse of what may be coming, The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see and serves as an advertisement to draw readers in. I thought your title was excellent and was supported by the "teaser line" which many writers forget to use.

*Vine1* Grammar/Wording: You chose words for both their descriptive power and their sounds. Your language was both playful and carried with it great images. Well, "pulchritude" isn't a common word and I'm sure some will scratch their head *Laugh* but generally, it was easy to follow meaning as the words skipped off the tongue.

*Vine1* Form/Flow: This was written in free verse (vers libre for the more snobbish LOL). I was pleased to see you understood that free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. It still needs to feel like poetry, whether it's in the use of verses, poetic norms, or simply the use of poetic lines. That's what I look for when reading. I think you did an excellent job of both making this feel like poetry and flow like poetry.

*Vine1* Poetic devices: What can I say? *Laugh* The primary and predominant device was a tour-de-force of alliteration. I personally think this worked well in making this unmistakably poetic especially when read aloud.

*Vine1* Emotion/Imagery: Beyond the tumbling words, the meanings drew beautiful images. Your phrasing such as "soothsaying stars" are rich in imagery and once the reader goes beyond the pleasures of letting the words play on their tongue, they'll find "beauty's bountiful appeal."

*Flower6* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* For me, this was a truly fun read. I found myself smiling from the first word. Your creativity and skillful blend of emotions, images, and words shine in this. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2014,

Ken

PS I'm returning your "auto-reward" GPs. The pleasure of reading this is all the reward I need. *Smile*

Everyday is Earth Day!

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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