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Review #3981615
Viewing a review of:
 Reverse Joni Mitchell  [E]
Remembering environmental idealism
by Karl Doyle
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Everyday is Earth Day!

Welcome to "The Earth Day Challenge"  review activity!


*Baretree*
Overall Impression
The animated, dramatic story-telling coupled with a unique observation made this a fantastic write.

*Baretree*
Joni Mitchell in reverse
The mood is conversational, but it's clear you're going somewhere with your adventures. The image of a deserted mall, likened to a church parking lot was strong and easy to identify with.

You're articulate and personable. The word choices and sentence structures are varied, creating different pacing throughout the work.

A few years ago, rumors were running around the notion of a hospital taking over some of the deserted retail space in a smallish mall. Friends and families of those hospitalized could shop for designer dressing gowns with more than three ties. The rumor died.

I'm familiar with your clever twist on the Joni Mitchell theme, but you explained the message so anyone can appreciate your viewpoint. Now the song is stuck in my head. *Rolleyes*

A city in rural New York State offers bonuses to businesses willing to pay for the cleanup left behind when IBM and other large companies pulled out and ignored the consequences. New business, what little there is finds untouched land more suited to their needs. What to do with all these empty spaces?

I went right along with your whimsical extension. Yes, the bulldozers would still be busy returning earth to itself. This could easily translate to a community project. I'm convinced you need to take action and make this happen! It makes more sense than many other solutions or suggestions I've read.

Fine Tuning ▼

*Baretree*
Closing thoughts
You might have struck upon a workable idea. What if change truly began because you wrote this?

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/25/2014 @ 12:14pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3981615