Hello CS Bracco

I found your paragraph on the review a newbie page and I enjoyed reading it.

I am not an English major or an expert in grammar. I am simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work.

I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression: For such a small piece it was very descriptive and made me wishing I had the rest of the story to read. Even though I only read a paragraph I felt like I read much more based on the information I received.

Characters: She is the only character but you describe her looks, her street smarts, her personality, that she is a thief, and someone you cannot turn your back on. Very good descriptive language.

Grammar and Mechanics: I saw no issues here.

Suggestions: Take this paragraph and build a story around it to make a quality piece. You have created a lot here that you can build on.

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .