Hello WritersCramp,

I found your story "Invalid Item"  on the read a newbie page and enjoyed the read.

I don't pretend to be an English major or an expert in grammar. I am simply offering my humble opinion concerning your work. I hope you find this feedback useful

Overall Impression:
I thought your story flowed well and was easy to follow. I never get to find out the circumstances behind the friends absence, or what his fate is. The story pulled me in and raised questions that are never answered, but that's understandable considering I am reviewing chapter 5 of 6. This chapter has left me hungry to go back and read from the beginning of your story now. I thought you used good words to describe the setting. This helped to create a mental image of the tavern and the tiny room.

Grammar and Mechanics:
I saw no problems with your writing mechanics or grammar

Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to keep putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) You are very talented and I look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work.

I also see you are new to WDC and want to welcome you

Thank you for sharing your story.

I welcome you to visit my portfolio and offer a review on any piece that may interest you

Rozebud

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