Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC.
This is a Simply Positive Review.

This is a cute story. Kids will see the pictures of this octopus in their minds and be able to follow his character throughout the poem. They can like hin because he has a very personable demeanor.

The poetic form didn't appear to be a stringent one, because you change the rhyme pattern as you go along. That's fine, because I am more of a "rhythm" person than strict rhyme pattern.

Observations:

"He wore a shiny suit" & "A shining little stone"
These lines are a stanza apart, thus the "shiny/shining" words sound repetitious. I think a replacement for one of them would remove the monotony.

TRY: A brilliant little stone, OR "glossy" instead of "shining."


The last verse loses some of the rhythm. I think it was because you tried too hard to rhyme. ("had opus!" Used to rhyme with "octopus." Which is why I'm not overly invested in the need for one to rhyme if it sounds too forced.) This is your last verse, it should really stay with the reader, and since you are targeting the children's market, you'd want to make it clear for them without use of a dictionary. That's my humble opinion.


Otherwise, a fun read and very imaginative.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .