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Review #4030696
Viewing a review of:
 
Choices  [13+]
originally entered into a 100 word contest. It is revised, but remains at 100 words
by Cheri Annemos
Review of Choices  
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*



Hello, Cheri Annemos . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to WDC today with a quick review. My inbox is open if you need any help navigating the site. Keep in mind that the following is just the opinion of one reader. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it! If not, feel free to disregard it completely. *Peace2*



*Mushroomo* First Impressions *Mushroomo*

I like the title you chose for your story because it's the biggest indicator we have as to what the plot of the story is. The image is nice too, showing the cracks which easily represent the cracks in the relationship between mother and son or mother and daughter.


*Mushroomg* Subject Matter *Mushroomg*

This story explores the idea of choices and where they lead us. I think a lot of teenagers end up in bad situations because of issues with their parents. Unfortunately, a lot of times it goes both ways and the parents don't want their kids to come home, so there is hope in this story that the two will be able to resolve the situation. When the main character calls home, the mother knows right away that it's her child. She has been waiting for this call for a long time and her kid is ready to come home now.


*Mushroomb* Things That Worked *Mushroomb*

I thought the story was interesting because it's one that I can relate to to an extent. I think that many people will be able to relate to it from at least one side, parent or child. You did a good job of showing the anticipation in the main character while they are wondering how many times to let it ring. They seem nervous to get an answer and they break down immediately when they hear their mother's voice.

Great job with building the emotion and getting the reader to connect to the subject matter of the story. I think anyone who reads this will want to know where this child has been and what led to her/him separating from the parents in the first place.


*Mushroomv* Suggestions *Mushroomv*

This is a really hard sell for a one hundred word story. The subject matter and your writing are both top notch. The storyline caught my attention and the way you let it unfold for the reader was good. The problem is, this doesn't really have a beginning, middle, and end the way a 100 word story needs to. When I'm reviewing something like this, I always look for how well a complete story was told in such few words. I feel like I'm leaving this one with more questions than answers, which is both good and bad. It's not good for the fact that it is supposed to be such a short story, but at the same time, I really want to see an expanded version of this because it was well written and caught my attention.




*Mushroomp* Final Thoughts *Mushroomp*

Overall, I liked this story but felt like it was an introduction to a much larger piece. I don't feel that it works well as a 100 word story, but can be expanded upon and become a really great longer story. Thanks again for sharing with us!




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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/24/2014 @ 11:18am EDT
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