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Review #4056559
Viewing a review of:
 Green Paper Parcel  [E]
Attempt at poetry,. I love poetry but this is kind of out of my normal style.
by minniemouse
Review by Charlie ~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello, minniemouse . My name is Charlie and I'm happy to welcome you to the site with a review today. If you have any questions or need help navigating the site, feel free to email me. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Beakerr* General Impressions: I chose to read this poem because I liked the title. I thought it was unique and I wanted to see what the green paper parcel was.

*Beakerb* Best Parts: I think you did a good job of delivering vivid imagery in your poem. I can see the green parcel with it's bow. The child's excitement is evident in her joy-filled eyes and the way she reacts to the parcel being gone.

*Beakero* Possible Suggestions: I'm rather confused about what actually happens in the poem. There's a parcel and she opens the door to find it. Then she goes back to bed (did she wake up and get a parcel, then go back to sleep?) and when she wakes up, the green parcel is no longer there. I can't figure out why she would open the door to find a green parcel with a toy in it, then go back to bed and be happy when it's gone in the morning. I guess maybe she's mailing the parcel out, but why would that be so exciting?

*Beakerv* Summary: Overall, the poem had some nice imagery and was a fun read. I do think there needs to be a bit of clarification or further details to fully explain what is happening. Thanks again for sharing!

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