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Review #4059102
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item for the Simply Positive Reviewer's Group. If this review was a review request, thank you for asking me and feel free to ask for clarification on any comment!
Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as observations from one writer to another. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest. Most of all, Keep Writing!


TITLE, DESCRIPTION;*Fire*: Your title caught my eye and interest, although I'd suggest capitilizing each word for maximum impact. Description fits well, but doesn't fire much enthusiasm for story, can you punch it up for a little more of a lead in?

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:*Trees*: I was quite captivated by the grace and dignity of your main character, the marrying of a prince sounded a bit extreme, but possible. Her story certainly engages and holds the reader's imagination. You packed great detail into such a short piece!

PLOT; FLOW;*Target*: Plot is well developed and I liked how you looked at it through the main character's eyes. Flow is even and well balanced throughout. Background is well balanced with inner dialogue and expierences which keeps the story moving forward and doesn't bog it down.

Characters, Dialogue:*InfoR*: Your main and only character of Mary is believable and comes very alive in the story. I feel this is a woman I might seearound my community, unfortunately as to her circumstances. [ yes, I was very moved by her loneliness and circumstances even though she seemed content enough in her life.]
Dialogue is mainly in narrative form, speaking to reader, but carries the story forward very well.

IMAGERY; EMOTION:*BurstR*: The emotions of pride, dignity, respect really come forward in this piece and I had great respect for Mary by the end.

Favorite Lines/Parts:*QuestionR*
Where she finds her companion, her simple joy in finding an apple pie left just for her. The ending, an excellent point and close!

SUGGESTIONS;*Question*: [Just a few pesky editing things]
had children,but...
So I lived for..
to a homeless shelter. I was sixty-eight by then.
into my room. His name was became Prince.
companion. We went...
note saying; 'Enjoy, Mary'![ seperate note with dialogue apstophes]
my shoes - even if...

CLOSING THOUGHTS;*Exclaim*: A touching and moving piece that made me think.


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