*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4103957
Review #4103957
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
Review by Tiggy
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I'm sure the title was meant to be a little tongue in cheek, but I could sympathise with the narrator of this tale. Although in the grand scheme of things this was only a little thing, it would have been irritating and probably time consuming to put it right, had it not all turned out well. I could also understand the almost obsessive need to find the lost ticket rather than giving up, even though the chances of finding it were slim. So in the end, I was about as pleased as the narrator that there was a happy ending.

The detailed descriptions of the search were nicely done, and I could imagine the narrator switching the toddler from arm to arm to looks through all the pockets. Since nothing had really worked very well up until the end, I half expected the ticket to be picked up by a gust of wind and blown off the roof of the building or something along those lines, but this actually was a story where not everything went wrong which was a nice surprise.

The only suggestion I have is to perhaps start the story a little slower to allow it to build up gradually. It did seem a little over the top to have the narrator panic at the first sign of trouble, and perhaps that part would have worked better had you led into it a bit more. You could include a bit of humour when the ticket isn't in the first pocket - why is whatever we are looking for never in the first place we look? - and start the actual anxiety a sentence or two later to make it more believable. It's just a minor point but to me it seemed that the tale launched straight into the panicked attempts to recover the ticket when a bit more of a build up might have set the scene better.

Having said that, it was a very enjoyable and well written story and a great read. *Smile*


A Simply Positive reviewing sig.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4103957