Review of

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #1994075 by Not Available.

Hello,benjwriter14

I'm Bikerider and I am reviewing your item for "King's Landing updating "  I hope you find my comments helpful.




You seem to have a talent for establishing your story by using a good hook. The opening sentences of this story pulled me in and had me wondering who the character was running from. What had he done? Who was after him? Of course, I would have to read the story to answer those questions. Good job.





In order to garner as many readers as possible, our work should be not only presentable in accepted formats, but all spelling, punctuation, and grammar issues should be resolved. I always suggest to new writers that when they post a new story into their portfolio, that it should look exactly as it would if it were being submitted to a publisher for consideration.
In this story, I saw many errors, spelling, grammar and punctuation that need attention. Errors will turn off a reader and make them look elsewhere for something to read.




I like the premise for this story. Contestants vying for a billion dollars are subjected to life threatening situations that result in high drama and entertainment for the observers. That is a very interesting premise, and one that fits well with this type of story. A beautiful woman, a large amount of money, fast and expensive cars, and a huge payday for success. All the ingredients for an interesting story.

You did a good job with the action scene early in the story. Action scenes are difficult to write, but you did a good job with the action in this scene.

You have a good story here that contains all the elements of an interesting story.

Keep writing.

Bikerider

My review has been entered in Good Deeds Get Cash!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .