Hi haplo48.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and the Birthday Celebration.
I have just read your short story "Invalid Item" , which I found when clicking on the random review link and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I was pulled in from the first paragraph. You crafted your world and made and intriguing tale... I wanted to know what would happen.


Characters:
Regar is a dwarf. He is captain of the Sinking Stone. His character is well crafted - he is a leader and a friend.
Meat is his first mate and a Mintarian. He is well described.
Ferrin is a human who is going back on the deal. He is the villain. You do an excellent job creating his darkness.


Setting:
The setting is well described. I felt like I was right there seeing all that was happening.


Plot:
The plot was very well paced. It builds in suspense. Meat kicking some bad-ass humans is wonderful... and funny (with Regar getting caught up in the fight).
The get away is also well done and the story ends with the reader wanting to know more.


Favourite Part:
I liked the dialouge - I could almost hear Regar speaking.
I enjoyed the relationship between Meat and Regar... he may call him a 'damned crazy cow' but you get the love behind it.


Suggestions:
Only noticed this:
Draug was ready as any man on the boat to rescue their longtime comrade. Regar smiled at the notion. These men hadn't a shred of trust between them when Meat was first brought aboard. Now, by Draugh's request alone, he knew these men saw him as a fellow crewman that was in need. Looks like the cow has more friends than even I gave him credit for.
Just the 'h' is missing.
Beyond that I saw no other spelling or grammar issues.


Additional Comments:
I really enjoyed this story and would love to read more. I hope you continue with it. The characters are strong and vital. Well done.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .