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Review #4173722
Viewing a review of:
 Vision  [E]
Love is a battlefield, that's why Cupid carries a bow
by Logan
Review of Vision  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi, Logan. Nixie, here. *Smile*


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Overall Impression
Interesting word choices and phrasing made this work stand out. Sometimes it rhymes, and other times not, but nothing truly detracts because the message is strong. With no punctuation, the poem spread out as one piece.

A few thoughts
You ensnared me right from the first stanza. The same for the brave and the stupid. Although sometimes bravery comes from stupidity.

The second stanza reveals the poem's topic. We're playing cupid's game. In the third stanza, the pattern changed. The last line rhymed with the last line in the fourth stanza. So while the 2nd stanza's last line seemed off and weird to my ear, I liked what happened in the third stanza. (schemes rhyming with dreams)

Lasting Impression
The poem carries the theme of breaking throughout and keeps it strong until the final two stanzas. Through the cracks shows brokenness, but restructured demonstrates completion and optimism, with a lingering shade of doubt. (If tommorrow--)

On a personal level, I was nodding in agreement with the words. I'm dark that way. So I was actually pleased when the last line pulled back a bit, not totally promising redemption. And this wasn't necessarily a poem about love. Even with Cupid in there, the words can be extrapolated to pull more dimension, making the read more satisfying. Nicely done.





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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4173722