Hello, Icanterbareback , and good afternoon.

I found "Invalid Item"  on the Review Request boards. I don't see any specific requests for reviewing so I will give you a general critique. This poem read clear and pleasant to me and required few corrections, which is why I rated it with four stars. Here are my policies for reviewing and rating for your reference: "Bobbi's Rating and/or Reviewing Policy" .


The typos and grammar issues I caught were as follows:

'cause those bills don’t pay themselves. I added an apostrophe here because it represents the "be" taken out of "because".

'Cause I could spend my whole Same here.

I don't have much more to say grammatically because I'm unsure on what can fly in poetry for the sake of style. Poetry, as I have stated, is a bit of an Achilles' heel for me.


A few things I noticed as a reader:

This poem speaks about what it would be like to simply accept the average life instead of waiting for something grand to happen, waiting for some grand adventure or destiny. It speaks of what it would be like to accept the nine-to-five life and contrasts it with what it would be like to fall in love with traveling the world. The end of the poem feels hopeful, like the speaker realizes that she can take the reins of her life and "learn to fly". As I stated, it is a lovely little poem. Nice job.

Thank you for allowing me to review your piece. I'm just another reader and writer so use or discard any of my suggestions at your personal discretion. If you make changes and would like me to reassess your piece, feel free to e-mail me.

Keep writing and keep improving!

—Brandi