Hi Tsierus ,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully this review will find you in good spirit.


On Title/Subject
Frankly I didn't understand the title well, perhaps you meant Distance Lost as in the distance between the Boogie Man and the boy changing places so there was no distance between the two? The boy and the demon became one? You had no sub line that could help explaining the subject so that was a pity.


General impressions
Wow, what a beautiful intense prose poem this is. I was thrilled reading it.

You beautifully managed to take me on a tour of the world of a child, tucked in bed by his mother, leaving the boy in the dark facing his greatest fear of all. Seeing the Boogie Man, having to listen to his hypnotic words and finally being absorbed by the Boogie Man, exchanging souls.

I liked your twist at the end were you took revenge on the Boogie Man by having his soul for breakfast. At the end the boy overcame his fear and his biggest enemy the fiend. Although at the same time he has become the fiend, the demon.

I loved the way you managed to visualize the dark world when we are between wake and sleep. It worked like the scenes in a play.

Favorite Parts
I particularly like the part where the boy already is feeling/anticipating on something bad that is going to happen. He sees his mother in a different light:

He thinks her teeth,
too sharp,
too sharp in this pale light.

The scenes with the door and the door knob worked also very well for me. It gave me the creeps...!

He is now alone,
in the dark,
eyes open,
then close,
open,
then close like the closet door.
Then open,
and so is that closet door,


What also really worked for me was the pleading of the Boogie Man to the boy to give in, to give up his soul: the fiend says:


"I'm tired of souls,
little souls for breakfast,
fears for lunch,
dreams for dinner."

Final thoughts
All in all a great poem with a dark and ominous atmosphere which I really loved!


Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive