Plot/story elements:

Did I feel attached to the story or poem?

I think I missed a big dramatic element here. I was expecting Dave to start major trouble with Marty. He was definitely to me, being shaped as a bad guy who likes to have power and control over people and for him not to do something to Marty seemed out of his character.


Would I recommend this piece of writing to someone else?

I think I would add some dramatic element here. Was there a fight? An attempted murder? A real murder? Something that would have made us go Whoa! Now, it's getting good! I want to be riveted to the pieces I read and this one just needs a few things added to make it great.


Was there a clear purpose to it?

I feel like there are some elements here that could really test the limits for friendship. You could have a Greece meets The Outsiders here and it would be great to read a piece like that.


Glows:

You have the set up for a great story. I love the 50's element. Since I was a child of the 90's its a fascinating time period for me. I was engaged with the love triangle between Dave, Marty, and Jane. There could be something great there. Like a set up for a murder mystery like maybe Dave commits a horrible act and tries to hide under his power and prestige and only the Greasers can discover the truth. Something, like that maybe.



Grows: Tag:



Miscellaneous Comments:


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~Tsa~ House of Greyjoy







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .