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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4239425
Review #4239425
Viewing a review of:
 Patterns  [ASR]
My Mum knits
by Whiskerfacebythefireplace
Review of Patterns  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Howdy!

I'm glad I found your story. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful. Remember, this is just one opinion, so take what you like and leave the rest. Everything is said with love and in hopes that it helps! *Smile*

Overall Impression:
I realize this is an essay I'm reviewing and I'm using my short story template, but it was the closest thing I had. Sorry. But this is a wonderful essay that made ME wish I'd known your mom TOO! Great writing!

Style and Voice:
Seemed natural and appropriate

Characters:
the speaker, her mother, "the girls" and the driving instructor with reference to husbands, children, and grandchildren

Dialogue:
Seemed natural and appropriate

Grammar and Mechanics:
None noted

Suggestions:
"She was at least twenty years older to the one ..." Usually we are "...older than..." not "...older to..." at least in America. *Smile*

Favorite Part:
"Every week her school offered instruction is some homely art, such as ironing a shirt." I really like this sentence. It amuses me and reminds me of how much times have changed--not necessarily for the better or worse, they're just different. "She left school at age thirteen and died at ninety-three, so she knit for at least eighty years." WOW! How awesome! I can't imagine the skills she had! "She taught knitting at the Girl's Club, and through evening classes, and when the evening classes ended, the ladies in those classes came to my house to drink tea and knit there." Wow--she REALLY had a passion for knitting and for passing that passion on...how wonderful! "The flummoxed look on the questioner's face was rewarding to see." Great sentence and especially great word--flummoxed! "They were part of a network, an extended family of people Mum somehow touched. None of us will ever forget her." What a wonderful ending!

Thank you again for sharing your story! Keep writing! *Notepad* *Pen*


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