I see that the persona's view of regret and sorrow is dark and gooey, like black slime. This brought out the very horrific aspect of depression. I didn't see the actual word depression. I saw regret and sorrow. But sorrow is a symptom of depression.

I think you have done some great comparisons here. The persona herself is like a doll or a zombie as you put it, which masks all the dark emotions within. The reason why the word doll came to my head is because of the cover image you used. It looks like a scary doll.

I think you could add more symptoms of depressions such as sleeping too much or not being able to. However, that's just my subjective view.

Great scary and dark poem. Write on!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .