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Look out! First Ocean review in waaaaay too long. I hate to write things out loud, but I do think I'm finally getting to that point where I can handle more in the realm of writing and reviewing. Oh, brain, don't fail me now.

Time for “early consult.” And away we go!

Image in this one makes me think instantly of Gibbs. Hee hee.


It wasn’t pride what kept her from calling Brock—actually call Russell
         That “what” should be: that
         And that “call” should match “calling”--so it should also be: calling
         And I know I've said it many a time, but I'm saying it again. It's oddly thrilling to have read all the way through and come back to here where they're so awkward, and she thinks he hates her, and he's thinking annoyed is all he feels with flashes of being truly impressed. Ahh, love them.

However, it was a personal issue which stopped her from consulting with him, and be as sure as she could that she was reading it correctly.
         Quick thing: that “be” should be: being
         Other thing: the wording here makes it sound as if it's talking about yet another personal issue that's stopping her, rather than what careful study has led me to believe it means—that her feeling awkward is a personal reason and so she's going to carry through anyway.
         Your usual streamlined style could fit nicely with a to-the-point revision like: But that was a personal issue, so she texted...
         —The rest, what gets cut in that stream-lined revision, is already known just from context.

and scoffed at reading her text, “Mulder around?
         Comma should be a period. But honestly, it might be even clearer if you used a colon, since it's his action and her text. It'd just be a clearer way of saying, here's what he read:
         That make sense? Well, you know where to find me if it doesn't.

{Need to ask him some”.
         Period should still go inside the quotation marks. (And you could get away without quotation marks at all, but that's all up to what you feel best about.)
         Also, “some” should be: something

in the bathroom, shaving, and he scowled in surprise at hearing his question, but anyway said,
         Kinda a lot going on for one sentence, so it reads as a run-on. I'd make it two, real easily: bathroom, shaving. He scowled
         Also, I'd ditch “anyway.” It definitely sounds funny there, but even putting it after “said” is a little weird, and I don't think you need it [ready for this?] anyway.

All of a sudden, Gillian had to force herself
         ”All of a sudden” has been so overused that these days it smacks of novice writing. You don't need it, promise. I feel every bit of its implication in her reaction (and a great description of that reaction, it is.)

Gosh, she hated this man for turning her into a dumb rookie with a simple greeting.
         ”Gosh” is kind of a...soft-sounding word to use. It softens things when it's used, and not in a way that seems to fit, here. I'd just drop it and start with: She hated
         (But again, love the job you do of making us feel how she's feeling here.)

he’s taken down two white males,
         Three, you mean. Maybe only one of the first two was the true target, but there were still two. And it (the word choice?) sounds like she's making a mistake, rather than just counting the true target. How to fix? First thing off the top of my head: his first targets were white males,

he took out first the tallest and fittest and his friend,
         Word order thing: took out the tallest and fittest and his friend first,

and staged it to look like they’ve killed each other.”
         That “they've” should be: they'd
         Heeeyy, hey, I just fully re-rememberd; this is their first phone call! And their first time doing the profiling thing over the phone, so it's like their first phone sex session!

“You mean the subject went first for what […] complete the job.”
         Some folks, somewhere, might say “went first,” and more would say, “first went,” but the vast majority would say, “You mean the subject went for what he thought the hardest target on his list first.
         And I have to say that agree completely with this logic. Makes perfect sense.

Maybe his silence meant that he didn’t agree.
         Hmm, except that he's on speaker phone, so she'd hear the click of the razor as he tapped it against the sink to get the cream/whiskers off and she'd hear the water running.

Brock was back to his room, and left the phone on the drawer chest
         That “to” should be “in” and that's a “chest of drawers,” not a “drawer chest.” (Or, especially if you're from the southern US, you might be selling one online and write it, “chester drawers,” which drives some people [me me me me me] nuts.)
         And then look, there it is! The donning of the Knot of the Year in the next few words!

when she’d filled him with questions.
         Ah, but she didn't “fill him with questions,” which insinuates she made him have a lot of questions. Instead, she peppered him with questions or bombarded him with questions or something to that effect.
         Love that he sees the difference, though. And the final sentence of this paragraph?

now he’s going for the only man left and leave the woman
         That “leave” should be: leaving

I’m sure he’d already spotted the tails,
         That “he'd” should be: he's
         I know why you chose “he'd,” but I'm here to tell ya it reads funny and context takes care of the meaning you were going for.

eyes still on the board, pondering about what they’d said.
         Ditch the word “about”; it doesn't need to be there.

I really appreciate you took the time for this.
         Either: appreciate that you took the time
         Or: appreciate you taking the time


Dude, I can't even describe how giddy I am right now, back to reviewing this.

Man, that abrupt goodbye and his surprise at it. I just love these two, and coming back to this point after seeing where they end up. It's just such a great story with great cases along the way and a great supporting cast to round things out.

Ah, BB, I've missed you.

Chy

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .