Hello - I found this in the review request thread and thought that I would drop by to leave some quick notes on what I thought about the piece.

You asked if there were "good ideas" in this article, so let me start by saying I think there were a lot of great ideas. Writing a motivational thing to help inspire to lose weight is a great idea itself, and you covered a lot of topics in here that are good for that objective.

Overall, I do think that the piece could be use a little bit of polishing. The two smaller issues that I had with the piece are the following:

1. It came on very, very strong.

2. It seemed a little scattered/disorganized.

I think if you rearrange the piece so that it focuses on one thing at a time instead of bouncing back on forth between ideas, it will read smoother, and all of those great ideas will shine through a little brighter. I also feel like it might have been a little more encouraging (albeit less intense) if it had started out on more of a personal note - especially since the description led me into the piece thinking of it as a testimonial.

Aside from the things mentioned though, I really did like the piece. The ideas were pretty solid, and I think it's awesome that you want to inform people and encourage them to lose weight, leading to healthier lifestyle.

I hope that this was at least a little bit helpful, and I wish you the best of luck with it!

Sincerely,

-Cat









My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .