I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.

Ahhh, I must say, your interesting title along with the quote as the brief description, pulled me into the story.

You kept the reader wondering what evil lurked before poor Ashley. Was he the devil? Perhaps some cruel, murdering beast! The reader finds out at the end, and I like the use of the character-type -- it fit him well!

Observations

I'm also hurt that you are here to accuse me of something I have no idea on. [of]

"You can't follow him home. I saw you first, I need you around and I can't [couldn't] have that sick bastard taking you home that night" he hissed.

(You forgot the opening quotation mark.)What do you need from him anyway? What did my father do to you?"

There were parts that could have been written a little tighter. Thus, reduce unneeded words, especially in the dialogue. (One example: You repeated "He's a human being" twice.)

I had to change the rating on this item because it exceeded 18+ due to the repeat of the "f-word."

This story has great potential, because it has a rather clever use of a wizard, and rids the reader of the stereotypical wizards of yore.

You responded to this review 05/08/2017 @ 9:38pm EDT

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