Hello,

I found this in the review request forum and thought that I would stop by to leave my thoughts on it.

As a stand-alone piece, I don't think this makes a lot of sense. It starts at a very dramatic and gripping place but isn't long enough to explain the situation, and then it just stops leaving everything unresolved and the audience confused.

That being said - I definitely think you should keep writing. Whether you start the novel from this point or decide to start a little earlier on in the timeline of these characters, I think it's clear that you have ideas about what's going on surrounding the scene here. The imagery was clear, it was engaging, and even though it could use a little cleaning up it has some potential.

Since you did say that this is just an excerpt from a novel idea you have, I think it works as a novel excerpt. Now you should probably start working on the novel itself.

I hope that this review was helpful, and wish you all the best of luck with this, or any other writing endeavors.

Sincerely,




-Cat









My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .