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Review #4382264
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Review by Angus
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Hello there, Arsuit!
For one of your 1st pieces on here, this is pretty good. You did a good job of setting this up with Stacey being so withdrawn and then quickly throwing the reader into the situation at your poker buddy's house (I actually had to read that beginning twice to get the gist of it-not enough coffee this morning *Laugh*).
The idea of finding your poker buddy in such a bloody situation was well told, and your descriptions were great; the similes and metaphors really stood out. But it was that twisted/surprise ending that made this shine. I'm pretty sure poor Stacey did find out about the mistress... *Smirk*
Flawless spelling (thank you!) and grammar, and the whole piece flowed smoothly. My only suggestion, which really isn't a suggestion at all, would be to add mystery and perhaps thriller to the genres. Just an idea.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Arsuit, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your biography set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite authors/books, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PPS-Since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies to get a feel of Writing.Com and introduce yourself to the community!


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