*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4390183
Review #4390183
Viewing a review of:
 Stop hating yourself for what you aren't  [ASR]
Start loving yourself for what you have
by mabelschronics
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Mabelschronics,

Welcome to writing.com!

I found you in the "Noticing Newbies" forum and popped over to your profile to give you a review. Are you French? Or someone from elsewhere living in France? I have never been but my ancestry is mostly French and I am learning the language on Duolingo. So you in particular interested me of the Newbies :)

This article of yours caught my eye. I think the core message is something many of us need to hear, internalize and apply. I don't know who "Totoro" is but I will look her/him up once finishing here.

I could hardly blame you for buying cute animal socks. I have cute animals all over my home :)

Like you, I've read a lot of personal development books too. I try to live out what I learn but it's a lot easier said than done.

Your sense of humor comes out well in this article and I salute you for that.

It sounds like you really are a good daughter and I'd be surprised if your mum didn't agree. Even if she would like more phone calls.

Kudos to you for learning to love yourself and celebrate your positive traits.

As far as your writing, this article reads like a note to yourself, very conversationally. I thought it flowed well and it made me like you as a person, even though we haven't met.

There is one awkward sentence but your message still comes across clearly. [I'm referring to the second part of this sentence: "I love hanging out in pajamas and I can wear all day long this grey dressing gown that makes me look like Totoro." If you'd like my recommendation for improvement, read on and if not, stop here and just know that I enjoyed your article.

... it might read better by either shortening it or switching things around a bit and cutting the whole thing into two sentences... perhaps like this: "I love hanging out in pajamas. I could live in my gray dressing gown that makes me look like Totoru."]

I hope you found this review helpful and I hope you are enjoying our writing community!

All the best,
PWheeler

*** WDC Angel Army Review ***
** Image ID #1940845 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/17/2018 @ 2:16pm EST
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4390183