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Review #4393983
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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: | (5.0)
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Howdy, L.A.!
This is good, although I had a feeling Ben was a rat all along. But I still enjoyed this because of the way you told it. I'm not too sure it qualifies as horror though, considering they all lived happily ever after.
It's kind of odd that you use the name Ben. There's an old movie about rats called Ben!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_(film)

And it also reminds of the movie Mask with Cher, another great flick about a kid with a disease which seriously deformed his face! Kind of a tear jerker, too.
Suggestions and a niggle:
'The you look funny conversation.' ('The you-look-funny conversation')
'I am Ben' and 'I am Alice' don't sound like everyday speech, they sound like robots. Maybe use contractions-'I'm Ben' and 'I'm Alice'. Same with 'It is great fun.'
'Alice had yet(,) to point and laugh at him like other kids.' (don't need that comma)
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, L.A., and have a marvelous day!

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