Hello

My name is Mastiff and I'll be reviewing your piece, as much for me to learn as anything. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble, and realize I make just as many mistakes as anyone else, perhaps more. Thank you for sharing your writing.

Title: Between the title, subtitle, and picture, I just had to click out of curiosity. It was a good mix. I really wanted to know what was inside, so I'd keep that up.

Initial Reaction: Well, it's clear who they are, and I was immediately chuckling because you had just animated cleaning implements! I was glad I was drawn in, and now I'm ready to ready dive in. Generally, I write this section after I do a full read and look for line-by-line items as I go, but the first paragraph looked great, so I decided to put this down first.

Setting: Wow, that got dark fast! You describe the closet in very vivid detail. The house we really don't need to see because the descriptions of the cleaning processes are something we all know and hate.

Character Development: Again, I have to tell you I'm impressed with the work. I could visualize the poor cleaning implements, and we saw the people how they viewed them.

Plot: New and different, and that itself is something. But you started out giving me a chuckle, and a few lines later, I was horrified! They even exact their revenge. Good stuff.

Ending: But of course, they just get another prison. Ouch.

Line-by-line and Suggestions: In paragraph 25, when The Machine has the opportunity, I might have used an exclamation on the last sentence. But that's just an idea, as it works as it stands.

I enjoyed this story a great deal, and will check out some more of your work.

Happy Writing!

Mastiff