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Review #4402387
Viewing a review of:
A Shattered Mask  [E]
One who goes through life wearing a mask is doomed to a life of misery
by S.J - Not Around Much
Review of A Shattered Mask  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This would be easier to read if there were breaks now and then...stanzas

You have 'at first' twice in the first three lines. You might want to consider changing one of them to a similar word.

In a sea of endless hollow screams- I'm not sure if this is screaming in your dreams, or screaming when you are along, maybe out of frustration.

Either way I understand the thoughts and feelings. It's hard when you try to fit in but are never your 'true' self.

But still, I run.-I didn't understand this line. If you have the time I'd appreciate you telling me what it means. Why the mirror to find yourself.

since don my old self --should this be donned? past tense?

There it was, don upon my face--was this a typo. I don't understand it.

Cracked beyond repair-I'm not sure about that. There are a lot of broken people in this life, but many are at least partially repaired. Hang in there.

This was a very moving and troubling poem. Thank you for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/27/2018 @ 5:00am EDT
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