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Review #4415133
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of I’ll Remember  
Review by Choconut
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Dragon is hiding

I am reviewing this on behalf of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" . It is part of "Invalid Item" .

Please remember these views are purely my own, and any advice given is with the sole intention of being helpful.

First Impressions: Wow. This poem is so sad. It's beautifully written and describes the destruction of a relationship. The destruction of a person, even. The narrator has a friend who thought she had found the perfect relationship, but he sounds as though he was controlling and manipulative, always making her feel she wasn't good enough. And, now that she feels that way about herself, she can't go back to the person she was before him.

Voice/Tone: The narrator in this poem sounds hurt, betrayed. But it's not on their own behalf. They seem to be speaking to someone who tried to change someone they care about, never being happy with who she really was. They sound angry and bitter, and that's understandable. I think I would feel the same way. Once you make a person feel that badly about themselves, it is really hard for them to feel differently. It's not impossible, though.

Mechanics: This poem is free verse, which I love. It's the perfect vehicle for you to express your feelings and be creative. I love those two lines which are on their own: "Except 'should' doesn’t always work / even if it’s 'better.'" They are so poignant, and making them stand alone highlights their importance.

Rhythm: The short lines and verses give the poem a fairly slow pace. This works brilliantly, as it makes the reader pause and reflect on what you're saying. It's a clever tool to use. The poem has a natural rhythm that works really well, with no bumpy parts.

My Favourite Part: Those last two lines are killer: "because how it is / can never be like how it was." That really is heartbreaking. I also love the creativity of using the butterfly metaphor. That's so fresh and unique. I really like it.

This is a really great poem, Dragon. It's moving and so beautifully written. I love it.

Keep writing!

Choconut

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