Hello rolandeld! I'm reviewing "Invalid Item"  today from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" !

I also want you to know that I realize for some, poetry is a very personal experience, and some criticism can be taken personally.

Keep in mind that I'm merely basing my review off my own personal interpretation of your work and don't feel obligated to use any suggestions that may lie within. I consider myself a forever student and sometimes simply enjoy exploring new poetic devices I have learned when I notice them.

Hopefully you'll find this review helpful and encouraging!


Overall Impressions:

The title "Wandering Thoughts" is perfect for this piece since you follow through, jumping from each different type of thought, wandering through a list of emotions associated with each.

Conventions:

I enjoyed how you used personification with the happy thoughts, dark thoughts and anxiety- we get anthropomorphism. You also give the rest of the thoughts normal actions associated with the stigma of each type of thought. Skipping through the flowers -- love, pacing and panting - panic, and slumped shoulders with depression.

Suggestions:

At first I was thinking you might want to possibly consider spacing between the different types of thoughts, just to separate out each metaphor, but the more I think of the fact that it's wandering thoughts, it may be more appropriate to leave this as one long stanza since it's a merger of one thought to another. So forget that...

I would like to see the thoughts of love expanded on and possibly depressing thoughts to fit in with the longer metaphors for the other thoughts.

And there needs to be a comma after "pumping arms"



Favorite Parts:

Actually, I have a hard time picking a favorite one,I really enjoyed the thorough mental picture given to certain thoughts like "the happy thoughts":



I can totally see this dancing through your head as your sitting through a class. Quite fun!

Additional Comments:

So glad to see you writing again. I like the topic of this poem and enjoyed following your wandering thoughts. Now i know what you did during college lecture.

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