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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4473583
Review #4473583
Viewing a review of:
Sister Earth  [13+]
A victim remembers her killer
by ValeriaBlue
Review of Sister Earth  
Review by OOT™
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Hey there, ValeriaBlue ! First of all, welcome to WDC! I'm sure you'll love it here. I'm OOT™ , and I would be happy to help you with anything you need. Feel free to email me at any time!

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My Thoughts: I love short, dark stories, and you did a fantastic job with this one! This is so well-written that I would have never guessed you are new to the site had I not seen the date you joined. The title was interesting and appropriate, and it, along with the description, made me want to read the story. I loved it! You captured my attention with the first sentence and held it throughout.

I am sure that this piece will hit home for those who are currently in a domestic violence situation, and every reader can take away something from this haunted piece. You made every word count and packed quite a punch with just five short paragraphs. Great job!

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My Suggestions: The comma after "eyes" in the second sentence isn't needed and should be omitted.

In the second sentence of the second paragraph, "Than he left her.." should be "Then he left her..."

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Overall: Thank you for sharing this terrific short, dark piece. It was a pleasure to read and review, and I will definitely be dropping by your port again soon. I can already tell you're going to be a wonderful addition to WDC, and I will be happy to assist you with any problems or questions you have.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/10/2019 @ 8:49pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4473583