*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4473639
Review #4473639
Viewing a review of:
Word Picture Contest Book  [13+]
Free Verse entries for the Word Picture Contest
by 🌕 HuntersMoon
         Review for entry/chapter: "🏆 Pantheon
Review by Azrael Tseng
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon ,

I'm glad I read this work of yours. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "🏆 Pantheon on behalf of "The Rockin' Reviewers. This poem was chosen for review because it was the one posted before mine for Rising Stars' "I Write in 2019, and not because I'm stalking your portfolio. *BigSmile*

*StarB* First Impression/Thoughts:
As someone who thoroughly enjoyed a whole semester of ancient Greek literature (and did a thesis paper on The Iliad), merely reading the title "Pantheon" sent little sparks through my blood. The poem itself does not disappoint, with a startling moment of illumination and great uses of imagery, amongst other well-crafted examples of poetic skill and technique.

*Star* Creativity/Impact:
The most powerful moment of the poem comes during the epiphany, when the connection between what one would assume to be either the conceptual pantheon of Greek gods (or the lesser known Hindi ones) or the exploration of the famous museum originally dedicated to them, and the persona's precious trove of memories is drawn.

"they form an altar
of yesterdays
in the pantheon of my mind."


*StarG* Message/Theme:
The persona's memories, although seeming lacking purpose or order, form the crux of his personality and person. I really like this powerful and personal message.

*StarR* Technique/Technical Notes:
These are just my thoughts and observations. I may not have read the work the way you intended. Please decide for yourself if these comments are helpful to you; if not, feel free to disregard them.

*BulletG* Grammar/Wording - I noticed nothing that jarred or confounded the reading. This is always a sign of good writing.

*BulletR* Form/Flow -
This poem was written in free verse, which requires no specific form or rhythmic structure. At a glance it briefly resembles a distorted sonnet (3 stanzas, followed by final lines detached from the rest of the poem (English), or 2 shorter stanzas followed by a longer one (Petrarchan). Not sure whether this was deliberate.

*Bullet* Emotion/Imagery -
As an exploration of one's memories, I think the descriptions are wonderful--"stacked haphazardly", "uneven and worn" (which suggests how often they've been "used"), and "Grey and crumbling, // lichen covered memories // hide in the shadows" (great use of personification and both visual and tactile imagery here, and a sly dig at your own age?).

*StarBr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
If I were forced to bring up one gripe, it would be that I hoped for a stronger, clearer connection/correlation to be made between the persona's memories and either the Greek pantheon of gods, or the museum in Rome (which I think is referenced in this poem, or maybe even both?). Something that strikes with the power of an epiphany. But perhaps in trying to relate to all three (memories, gods, and museum artefacts), this is the best that can be achieved.

*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star*
Thank you for a wonderful read!


Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Azrael

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/10/2019 @ 11:04pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4473639