INTRODUCTION

Hello Sir Zesto ,

I found your item "What I Fear"  in the Review Request thread, and I'm trying to squeeze in a few more poetry reviews for poetry month so I thought I'd drop in to leave you with my thoughts.

WHAT I LIKED:

Fragmented Imagery/Tone

The way that you approached the subject matter contributed a lot to the tone of the piece and gave it a spooky vibe - appropriate for a poem about fear. The fragmented scenes of things that scared you had an increasingly chilling impact throughout the piece as you moved the premise along.


Structure (The ending lines)

The final lines of your stanzas keep the poem moving, and I really enjoyed the way that you handle them. You use the same formula to construct them three times, and then subvert that expectation in the final two, showing a shift in the narrator's fears. This was clever and well-executed, I really enjoyed it.

Favorite Stanza

I normally don't include whole stanza quotes, but your stanzas are very short and there was one that I identified with so well that I just really wanted to highlight it:



This was just so beautifully done!





Room


I only have one small suggestion, and it's that you change the word "room" in the final line of the first stanza. I think that was the weakest line of the piece, and it's because any other line you could read out of context of the poem and still feel the fear behind it, but "rooms" by themselves aren't all that scary/intimidating.

I would just play around with some other words you could use for that line that might sound more menacing (space, emptiness, the unknown, etc.)

CONCLUSION:

All in all I loved the piece. It had a lot of strengths and did justice to a great, poetic concept. I hope that the review was somewhat helpful, and that I get to read more of your work in the future.

All the best,

-Cat
















My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .