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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4482941
Review #4482941
Viewing a review of:
OFF-CUTS!  [XGC]
Suitable refuse.
by Laurie Razor
         Review for entry/chapter: "Geek Show
Review of OFF-CUTS!  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: XGC | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*

Hello, Laurie.
'Tis I, Angus, here again to review another warped story of yours!
This isn't bad so far, but it feels like the beginning of something much longer.
The idea of Humphrey and his new friend/chicken/savior *Laugh* escaping the clutches of his tormentor is a good plot idea, albeit a strange one. But that's how some great stories began-by thinking outside of the box.
Not only did he save the chicken's life by not biting the head off of it, but not it seems the chicken might have led him to safety!
I just wonder how many chickens he bit the heads off before this one? *Think*
Great spelling and telling, but I do have one suggestion (since this seems to be written in the present tense):
'The fowl's shriek makes the boy jump, and instinctively toss(es) the bird into the crowd...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Laurie! Thanks for sharing this, and have an awesome day!
PS-I actually lived on a chicken farm for a while when I was a kid, and believe it or not, a friend and I stole a couple of them for pets!


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Angus Hand


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