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Review #4503802
Viewing a review of:
 The Game  [13+]
Amy wakes up. Alone in the desert. A Game is played. Could they be connected?
by Ry
Review of The Game  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings, Write4purpose!
This isn't too bad for one of your first pieces on here. I think it would look better if you formatted a little better though, but that's not really relevant.
I like how you segued so smoothly from scene to the next, and I realize this is just the beginning of something longer, but I'm interested to find out just how real this Amy character really is, if she's real at all, or if/and Ann is actually controlling her. Is Amy trapped in some virtual gaming world, kind of like the movie Tron?
Interesting...
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of tiny niggles:
'This was a 20 (gauge?) shotgun.'
'Ann bit her lip as her thumbed her controller...' (she)
Also, you might want to put this in a larger font to make it easier to read.
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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