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Review #4535010
Viewing a review of:
Do Clouds Get Sad?  [E]
A curious girl talks to her mom.
by DoctorWizard
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Doctor Wizard!
Saw this title and couldn't resist reading it!
This isn't bad. I like the concept of the little girl asking those questions about clouds, and she does indeed have a good imagination. The dialogue was natural and realistic, and the spelling and punctuation was good. But you went a little overboard with those speech tags. When you have conversation between just two people, there's no need to describe who is doing the speaking after every single sentence. That's simply implied, and the reader can figure that out for themselves. Plus, it gets really redundant really fast and takes a lot away from the story.
And speaking of speech tags, some of those don't need to be capitalized.
Examples:
"Hey, mom," The little girl said tugging on her sleeve. (the)
"Next time it rains, I'll be extra careful and watch it," Said the little girl. (said)
Here's a link to a short article about speech tags if you'd like to check it out:

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

Otherwise, good job.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Doctor Wizard, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.
PSSS- I noticed you don’t have any Merit Badges yet. Click on My Account (on the left hand side) > Achievements, and then go back and check your email. You should have a few surprises waiting for you there! *Bigsmile* You only need to do this when you’ve reached certain ‘achievements’ or ‘milestones’.

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