Hi Jacky , I found your writing ad random. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirits.


On Title/Subject
This title didn't satisfy with this short story. It's the main character's name obviously but it didn't resonate as a good title. The content of the story is a short excerpt from the Life of Lisa with her parents.


General impressions
It read like the beginning of a story. I felt it wasn't finished. There's hardly a plot and the ending is dissatisfactory. I understand it's a short Daily Flash, but it has to stand on its own as a story with a beginning, middle, and end. There have to be some mechanics in it, I couldn't find it.


Favorite Parts
She gave it a C. They rated an F when the words really hurt, an A when it was short and they made up quickly.
I thought it was rather funny, Lisa grading the conversations of her parents.


Suggestions
Now the contest is over, perhaps you can use this piece as the first paragraphs of a larger short story where you dig more into the Life of Lisa.


Final thoughts
The beginning of a larger story. I would like to read more because you have an appealing writing style. Thanks for sharing.


Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .