Hi Mr. Midnight , I found your writing ad random. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirits.


On Title/Subject
Another good title covering its content. It's getting more and more exciting.

General impressions
Good content, an interesting turn of events. Peter and the machine make contact. I only don't quite understand the significance of Mr. Takahashi and those green wires. Can you elaborate more on those?

Favorite Parts
The last part where Peter is hearing the machine and wants to come closer to the screen.

Suggestions
* What is PDA? please explain.
* Blank line between paragraphs 3 and 4 has no use.
* Strange looking sentences:
Thangs, I have ... such a pounding het-take.
Did you try clo-wing your eyes?
I can hear it bet-ter mow
Iss defly coming fron de bos

Final thoughts
Interesting and important chapter to the story. Well done!

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .