Hi Mr. Midnight , I found your writing ad random. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirits.

On Title/Subject
A good title although I didn't quite understand this chapter. The first chapter where you lost me. There were too many things I didn't grasp.

General impressions
Halfway through the chapter, you lost me twice. The whole beef between Peter and Jennie I couldn't quite get, and that part on the Arc I didn't understand. The dialogs were going too fast, with a slang I didn't understand and the whole body language thing went passed me. Sorry, my bad!

Favorite Parts
Of course, I loved the intermezzo with the cat.

Suggestions
The second half of this chapter is lost to me. Could you check your dialogs again, those between Peter and Jennie? And could you find a way to be more specific about that Arc? Otherwise, this chapter could function as a wig between other chapters. But maybe it's just me...

Final thoughts
A chapter I liked until the second half. From then on, until Merc was meddling again, I didn't understand what the fuzz was about. The flow was gone as I was concerned. Too bad! Hopefully, I can pick things up in the next chapter.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .