This is a return review.

I enjoyed this, and it's along the lines of the novel series that I'm writing, so it's something that I'm interested in.

The story follows Sarah, who we learn is a witch who will be married in 6 months. We also learn a bit of back story about her mother.

The story opens with Sarah on the balcony of her bedroom, watching as a shipping company owner oversees the unloading of his cargo. Sarah casts a spell that dislodges an amphorae which nearly kills the shipping owner's servant. The owner is first puzzled by the fall, but spots Sarah and seems to realise she's responsible. Problem, he's not human and the author hints at an ancient, stronger power than Sarah's. Sarah is tormented by dreams that night and the story ends there.

To me, it feels unfinished, like the end of a paragraph instead of a story. In many ways, it reads like the beginning of a longer piece. I love that the newcomer is mysterious and I took an instant liking to him. Sarah herself... The jury's out on her. I'm not sure how I feel about her.

I would say that comma use needs to be looked at. They seem to appear in clusters, making some of them unnecessary and absent where they are perhaps needed.

Pacing could be improved, perhaps - I didn't really get a strong feeling of suspense, but again, that could be built if you decide to expand on it.

Would certainly be interested in reading more. Well done.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .