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Review #4616290
Viewing a review of:
 Hiding out with Wilson  [E]
Dialogue with an imaginary friend. Locked in a basement hiding from Covid outbreak
by Sumojo
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings, Sumojo! I am reviewing this because I am part of "CLOSED: Merit Badges for Fun Raffle " . *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.


What I Liked

         *Bullet* Great dialogue between the narrator and imaginary friend! *Smile* This is such a fun contest to write an entry for!
         *Bullet* I love imaginary friend stories!
         *Bullet* I could definitely visualize this.

         *Bulletv* My favorite line: “Well, there’s no good talking about the future is there?” This fits well with the whole Covid thing. It's been a pretty scary journey and no one knew what the future would bring.


Suggestions to Consider

         *Bullet* I’ve always like your name *Right* I’ve always liked your name,
         *Bullet* never hear of the guy *Right* never heard of the guy
         *Bullet* “Yeah, that’s the guy. *Right* “Yeah, that’s the guy." Add quotations at the end of this line. *Wink*
         *Bullet* “Oh, Gee. It seems like forever.” I suggest it’s time to risk it.” *Right* “Oh, Gee. It seems like forever. I suggest it’s time to risk it.” Omit second of three quotation marks. *Wink*
         *Bullet* about the future is there?” *Right* about the future, is there?” I added a comma to separate the question.


Final Thoughts You still have 308 words to play around with before you read 500, not that you need to add more, but it might be fun! *Smile* I like how you italicized the words of the imaginary friend. I also got a chuckle from your last line. *Laugh* Best of luck in the contest, Sue! I enjoyed this. *Smile*


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/25/2021 @ 9:56am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4616290