#8

Hello, Writing Girl, and welcome to WdC.

Thank you for sharing chapter one. You've some strong characters, the essentials of plot, and a cliff-hanger ending. A lot of good things going on. A few things to work on here and there. I'll leave those to other reviewers.

Let's talk about formatting. If your goal is to be a writer, it will help to know how to format your story so it looks good to an editor.

Your first sentence, "Samuel...in Dallas, Texas" looks like a preamble. If so, it should be in italics and separated from the body. However, that sentence contains important information that really ought to be worked into the body of the story.

Many publications ask that you double-space with paragraphs indented five spaces or 1/2". Others accept single spacing with an extra space between paragraphs. Either one makes your story easier to read. Please edit this story (and your others) to one of these formats.

To move forward as a writer, you are advised to read widely, not just in your preferred genres of kidnapping/horror. Take note of how other authors deal with scenes, characters, plots. Pay close attention in your English classes and absorb all you can about grammar, syntax, and usage.

And above all -- keep writing!

STATIC

Gush Me No Gushes  (E) Rant: Totally positive reviews don't help a writer grow. #1823214 by Graywriter

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .