#15

A Cosmic named Gulp? Meh. So-named because he swallows his food whole? And just what might a Cosmic be?

This is background, not even an outline for the main story. Gulp and Yani are dragons, powerful but mortal, who ruled a Utopian universe. Some guys called Slayers came and somehow killed everything in the frickin' universe except for Gulp. At this point he is no longer the most ancient and powerful of all mortal dragonkind but the ONLY dragon. The shock of this, or his guilt over not being able to defend his realm, or something, renders "his powers useless". Except he still has powers (even if they're useless!) fueled by the souls of the dead. As a result, he is apparently able to bounce about in many forms doing good deeds. For whom? There is no one left but the Slayers who "slaughtered all".

The premise is interesting, but I found this backgrounder more than a bit confusing. It would actually make a good story if written out clearly.

Your spelling is sound, your punctuation generally good. However, I'd suggest you rework your premise, and pay attention to the order of ideas in this note, to improve its coherence.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .