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Greetings, lovefountain!

Welcome aboard our International Inspiration Station, aka Writing.Com. Your handle caught my attention when you made a comment on the Community Newsfeed, and I wanted to offer a few comments in the spirit of friendly hospitality and constructive support. Of course, they are nothing more than one man's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they might be worth.

TITLE:

Unless your name is Emily Dickinson, or that of some other famous poet, whose reputation is enough to attract a fawning audience, the title is one of the most important elements of any composition, because it is the portal through which a prospective reader must pass to enter the realm of your imagination. It sets the tone and prepares the reader for what is to come. If that entrance does not spark some sort of interest, chances are he or she will move along to the next item, or maybe even the next author.

The marquee for this composition presents a philosophical observation for that browser's consideration.

FORM & STRUCTURE:

In traditional poetry, the fixed shape of the meter, rhyme, and stanza creates an emotional distance which facilitates universal acceptance. The poet writing free verse must compensate for the lack of traditional structure by designing the title, line, stanza, and rhythm to provide the greatest impact in an efficient manner. Otherwise, the poem will be nothing more than prose in disguise. Careful design of the word selection and arrangement, the length and density of each line, and the breakdown of stanzas must provide a natural rhythm. That is, through much toil in search of precise language, experimentation with forming lines and stanzas, and extensive revision, the poet carefully crafts a work that appears natural, authentic, and convincing to the reader.

The nine-line structure provides a compact framework upon which to drape the word pictures you are painting.

IMAGERY:

Imagery is the lifeblood of a poem. Like a craftsman carving, molding, painting, and polishing wood, stone, clay, or some other material, the poet uses words to shape and paint pictures which present some lyrical impulse or spiritual truth. Rather than TELLING the audience about those feelings, the poet SHOWS the impressions through distinct images that project emotional overtones and associations with other images and events. In this way, the poet stirs an emotional response from the reader.

Your narrator provides sound advice in the TELLING mode through abstract terminology: "past," "future," "present," "thing," etc. I believe your audience would feel a stronger connection with this message through the use of more specific, concrete language ( https://www.isu.edu/media/libraries/student-success/tutoring/handouts-writing/ed... ), as Maya Angelou did in her poem Weekend: https://mypoeticside.com/show-classic-poem-1200 . For example, the "present" could be something like "the orange marmalade sunrise greeting you as it climbs over the horizon," and the "past" could be "the factory job you lost last month."

POETIC TECHNIQUE:

In one form or another, repetition is used in poetry for a variety of purposes. The familiarity created by this technique can create a common thread woven through the piece to strengthen the cohesiveness of the composition. It can also be used as a resonant echo for emphasis to produce greater impact. By skillfully playing the familiar against the unexpected, the poet composes a lyrical quality that is used to support the theme of the poem.

In this case, the pounding echo of repetition reverberates through your readers' consciousness to etch that impression indelibly in their minds.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

The idea of "living in the moment" is excellent advice, which delivers a powerful sense of hope.

With all due respect to Dr. Albert Einstein, I have formulated my own theory of relativity: No matter how accomplished someone is, there is always room for improvement; no matter how new someone is to a particular process, there are always others out there who could use your help with a little fresh perspective. We all started from the same point. A prima ballerina began her journey by taking a few faltering baby steps, falling down, getting up, and trying again. Even at the pinnacle of her career, she still practices tirelessly to continue honing her craft.

You have achieved the most important step in this process by capturing your thoughts on paper before they can fly away like fireflies in the night. In that effort, you have excavated a golden nugget from the depths of your imagination. Keep polishing this nugget to maximize the effects and transform it into the magnificent jewel it can be. Write on!

If you are interested in learning more about the craft of composing poetry, or merely chatting with a few like-minded wordsmiths, we would love to have you join our discussions in "The Poet's Place "  group.

Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate this universe known as Writing.Com.

Let the creativity flow from your soul! *Cool*
Dave
"The Poet's Place " 
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