Your story had me tense and on guard because, in the beginning, it seemed as if you were being chased by someone who would do you harm. This is a good twist to revealing you and your father were playing chase. I did not see this ending coming but am relieved it was a game of chase between you and a loved family member.

You captured the actions of the events by telling which gives information about the story but showing emotions and body language will bring your story to life and show it like watching a movie of the events. If you can imagine the characters, feelings, body language, scenes/places, and other elements like watching then this is my best description of showing your story.

I wouldn't change your story because it shows your heart and relationship with your father, but adding things such as [clentching your fists and pumping your legs harder shows that you are running faster and using more effort. Gritting your teeth can add more details about your body working to get away. Do some research about showing and not telling such as typing into the search bar "writing craft show don't tell" and see what you find. Let me know if you have any questions.

Your ending made me smile and I felt very much relieved to know it was a game of catch.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WDC members.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .