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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4671902
Review #4671902
Viewing a review of:
 I'll Have a Cow,Please!  [E]
poem about horses and cows
by Agent99
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
So you need to get the no-bull prize, I guess! *Rolling* (Sorry, couldn't resist that pun.)

Well, this one showed as a new static item on my screen and the title intrigued me, so I clicked. The title and brief description work. The verse structure and words chosen convey your message strongly enough! *Smile* We get it, horse, no, neigh. Cow - yes!

Thank you for the chuckle. And yes, I agree, if you aren't going to ride it, then a horse is much less use than a cow. I enjoyed all your 'arguments' in favour of cows and against horses. And I also noted that you're a novice when it comes to farm animals, which raised a *Smile*

SUGGESTIONS:
1. Suggest you add more genres, like 'comedy'.
2. Suggest WritingML, like font, size and center. Maybe some emoticons like *Cow* or *Horse* *HorseHead1* if you like.
3. This is a personal response from me, as a reader. I'm vegetarian, so the reference to 'beef' didn't resonate with me. While the poem works as it is, I'd have responded to a line like 'Unless you're vegetarian' after the reference to beef. It also fits in with the tone of the poem.
4. You've selected the cow over the horse, which is an unusual choice by itself. I'd actually like to have seen what you did with other animals in comparison to the cow. How about a cat / dog / pig / ostrich ... the poem has endless possibilities for hilarious comparisons.
5. I like the use of the word 'bovine'. How about using 'equine' somewhere, too, and if you bring in the piggies, then 'swine' rhymes! (All these rhyme with 'mine'!)

Moo On!
Look at the piggie -- Kiya drew him, and Secret Squirrel gifted him to me! Thank you!!



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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4671902