Hi, Starling , I'm Prosperous Snow celebrating , I'm reviewing "Invalid Item"  because I discovered it before my entry on "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" .

First Thoughts: The first paragraph hooked me with Darik rechecking his backpack. The narrative moves the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: A typo in this phrase, next mone cycle, I suggest changing mone to moon.

In this phrase, seen saving in the gentle breeze, I suggest changing saving to swaying.

My favorite part: I like Darik because he is an intriguing and a sympathetic character.

Final Thought: The last paragraph aroused my curiosity about the rest of the story.








My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .