Excellent beginning to a much longer story. If I were you or you were me, I'd sit down every evening and drain my heart into the computer where this story would come to life. Everyone becomes absorbed in an intimate, personal, and personally relatable story. Everyone past the age of fifteen has a "Life" experience similar to what you have begun to write about in this snippet. And you have done well in capturing "this" reader's interest. Therefore, I would believe that my being in the mid-range of average, you could entice many a reader with an introduction to a story like this.

Thank you for writing this and letting me read it. I hope you continue here at WDC and hear more about this story.

jdennis