%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4713094 |
 | What Happens in Heaven, Stays in Heaven  [13+] A humorous description of Heaven for a dying sister.  |
| (3.5)| Dear Sara , "What Happen In Heaven Stays In Heaven" is a unique and imaginative piece of fiction that explores the concept of Heaven in a lighthearted and humorous manner. The author takes readers on a whimsical journey, blending elements of religion, personal desires, and a touch of fantasy. Here are some takeaways and suggestions for improvement: Plot and Arc: The story's plot primarily revolves around the protagonist's arrival in Heaven and the joyful reunion with loved ones. While it doesn't follow a traditional narrative structure, it has a clear arc of anticipation, arrival, and celebration. The story effectively creates a sense of curiosity about what Heaven might be like. Character Development: The characters in the story are not deeply developed, but they serve their purpose in conveying the theme of joyous reunion in Heaven. The protagonist's personal desires and fantasies are central to the story, making them a relatable character for readers. However, there's room to explore the characters' personalities and relationships more to add depth to this piece. Resolution: Your story doesn't follow a conventional conflict-resolution structure, but it leaves readers with a sense of celebration and happiness, which aligns with the story's tone and theme. The resolution revolves around the idea that Heaven is a place for joyful reunions and personal desires fulfilled. Language and Style: The author's writing style is conversational and engaging, which suits the lighthearted and humorous tone of the story. The use of second-person narration involving the reader makes the story interactive and uniquely intriguing. The playful use of humor adds charm to the narrative. Suggestions for Improvement: 1. Character Depth: To enhance the story, consider delving deeper into the characters' backgrounds, personalities, and relationships. This would allow readers to connect more with the characters and their experiences. 2. Conflict or Challenge: While the story is celebratory, introducing a minor conflict or challenge could add intrigue and make the narrative more interesting to follow. It could be something the protagonist must overcome to fully enjoy time in Heaven. 3. Exploration of Themes: Expand on the themes of personal desires, reunions, and the concept of Heaven. You could explore philosophical questions or dilemmas related to these themes, which might engage readers on a deeper level. 4. Description of Heaven: Provide more vivid descriptions of Heaven's surroundings and inhabitants. Invite readers to visualize and immerse themselves in this fantastical realm. The more imaginative and detailed, the better. 5. Diverse Experiences: Consider developing a variety of experiences within Heaven to appeal to a broader range of readers and beliefs. Highlighting the diversity of personal interpretations of Heaven could make the story even more inclusive. I was happy to have discovered your charming and imaginative piece that offers a unique perspective on the concept of Heaven. Perhaps, with story enhancement, further character development, exploration of themes, and descriptive elements incorporated, this could more fully impact a reader. You have an engaging writing style with humor that serve are assets to contribute to the story's appeal. This was a pleasure, Brian WDC Angel Army    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.