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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4717749
Review #4717749
Viewing a review of:
Eight-line Poems  [E]
Entries to Express It In Eight from September 2020 to the present .
by Beholden
         Review for entry/chapter: "Egress" 
Review of Eight-line Poems  
Review by Brian KC
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Beholden ,

Your poem, 'Egress,' demonstrates an intriguing approach to the outdoor spiral case picture prompt. Here I will break down the poem’s performance in terms of imagery, connection to the image, style, and poem function:

Imagery:
Your poem effectively conjures imagery associated with a spiral staircase, as evident in phrases like "whirlygig, twirlygig" and "spiral stair, winding scare." These vivid descriptors create a visual representation of the fire escape, giving the reader a clear mental image of the subject matter.

Connection to Image:
The poem maintains a strong connection to the image of a spiral staircase, as it continually references the spiral and rotational nature of this structure. The use of terms like "descending, unending" captures the notion of the staircase's continuous descent, further strengthening the link to the image.

Style:
You employ a rhythmic and rhyming style that adds a musical quality to the poem. The repetition of sounds in phrases like "whirlygig, twirlygig" and "rotational, gyrational" contributes to a playful and engaging tone. The concise lines and rhymes make the poem catchy and easy to remember. Those words reminded me they could also describe a child’s toy, and maybe a helicopter.

Poem Function:
The poem functions as a visual and auditory exploration of the spiral staircase. It encapsulates the motion and descent associated with a fire escape, creating a sense of movement. The vivid imagery and rhythmic style combine to capture the essence of this outdoor structure.

Stylistic and Emotional Potential:
To enhance the poem, perhaps consider incorporating personification to infuse the fire escape with human-like characteristics, allowing readers to connect with it on a deeper level. For instance, the fire escape might become a character itself, whispering secrets to those who descend its spiral steps.

Emotionally, you could explore the idea of escape and rescue, touching on the dual nature of a fire escape as both a means of evacuation and a symbol of hope. By delving into the emotions tied to a fire escape's purpose, the poem could evoke a stronger sense of urgency or nostalgia.

‘Egress' is a visually descriptive and rhythmically pleasing poem that effectively captured that image of an outdoor spiral staircase. To enhance it, it’s possible to delve deeper into aspects of personification and emotions associated with this otherwise ordinary fire escape, creating a more emotionally resonant piece. The title, 'Egress,' is indeed fitting and adds a layer of depth to the poem's exploration of escape and descent.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4717749